TornWires

  • Join the Waitlist
  • tornwires.com

    tornwires.com

    Majority of Americans Conclude War Not Worth It, Government Thanks Them for Their Feedback and Continues Anyway
    3 weeks ago

    Majority of Americans Conclude War Not Worth It, Government Thanks Them for Their Feedback and Continues Anyway

    In a landmark display of civic engagement immediately rendered meaningless,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position
    3 weeks ago

    Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position

    INDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Straggler Cicadas To Appear
    3 weeks ago

    Straggler Cicadas To Appear

    Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Vices: Then And Now
    3 weeks ago

    Vices: Then And Now

    Our faults used to be a lot cooler. Continue reading…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours
    3 weeks ago

    At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours

    Let me tell you a story. When I was a…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Surgeon Charged After Removing Wrong Organ
    3 weeks ago

    Surgeon Charged After Removing Wrong Organ

    A Florida doctor was charged with second-degree manslaughter after accidentally…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    ‘Beef’ Creator Reveals Season 3 Will Focus On Escalating Feud Between Cartoon Mouse, Cat
    3 weeks ago

    ‘Beef’ Creator Reveals Season 3 Will Focus On Escalating Feud Between Cartoon Mouse, Cat

    LOS ANGELES—Teasing an exciting new direction for the series, Beef…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It
    3 weeks ago

    Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It

    ST. LOUIS—Voicing frustration as he discussed his lack of even…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Uber Driver Casually Mentions This His First Time Driving
    3 weeks ago

    Uber Driver Casually Mentions This His First Time Driving

    Post Content

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Michael Rapaport Gives Knicks’ Celebrity Row Bedbugs
    3 weeks ago

    Michael Rapaport Gives Knicks’ Celebrity Row Bedbugs

    NEW YORK—Following a scene in which numerous high-profile attendees were…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lena Dunham
    3 weeks ago

    The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lena Dunham

    Lena Dunham recently released a polarizing new memoir in which…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping Out of School to Become an Influencer.
    3 weeks ago

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping Out of School to Become an Influencer.

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping…

  • chortle.blog

    chortle.blog

    3 weeks ago

    A Timeline of Notable Earth Days: 1970 to 2145

    Guest writer alert! Andrew Wood is a writer from NY…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That I’ll Make Everyone Else Look Puny by Comparison)
    3 weeks ago

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That I’ll Make Everyone Else Look Puny by Comparison)

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Choosing A College Major For The 21st Century
    3 weeks ago

    Choosing A College Major For The 21st Century

    Let’s just say “literary criticism” is unlikely to be in…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday
    3 weeks ago

    Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday

    WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Tips For Getting Better Haircuts
    3 weeks ago

    Tips For Getting Better Haircuts

    Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge.…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’
    3 weeks ago

    Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’

    LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Quiz: Daycare Or Coachella?
    3 weeks ago

    Quiz: Daycare Or Coachella?

    You hear the words ‘line up’ several times a day. Photo…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau
    3 weeks ago

    TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau

    TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue
    3 weeks ago

    Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue

    Post Content

Load More
  • tornwires.com

    tornwires.com

    Majority of Americans Conclude War Not Worth It, Government Thanks Them for Their Feedback and Continues Anyway
    3 weeks ago

    Majority of Americans Conclude War Not Worth It, Government Thanks Them for Their Feedback and Continues Anyway

    In a landmark display of civic engagement immediately rendered meaningless,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position
    3 weeks ago

    Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position

    INDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Straggler Cicadas To Appear
    3 weeks ago

    Straggler Cicadas To Appear

    Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Vices: Then And Now
    3 weeks ago

    Vices: Then And Now

    Our faults used to be a lot cooler. Continue reading…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours
    3 weeks ago

    At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours

    Let me tell you a story. When I was a…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Surgeon Charged After Removing Wrong Organ
    3 weeks ago

    Surgeon Charged After Removing Wrong Organ

    A Florida doctor was charged with second-degree manslaughter after accidentally…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    ‘Beef’ Creator Reveals Season 3 Will Focus On Escalating Feud Between Cartoon Mouse, Cat
    3 weeks ago

    ‘Beef’ Creator Reveals Season 3 Will Focus On Escalating Feud Between Cartoon Mouse, Cat

    LOS ANGELES—Teasing an exciting new direction for the series, Beef…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It
    3 weeks ago

    Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It

    ST. LOUIS—Voicing frustration as he discussed his lack of even…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Uber Driver Casually Mentions This His First Time Driving
    3 weeks ago

    Uber Driver Casually Mentions This His First Time Driving

    Post Content

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Michael Rapaport Gives Knicks’ Celebrity Row Bedbugs
    3 weeks ago

    Michael Rapaport Gives Knicks’ Celebrity Row Bedbugs

    NEW YORK—Following a scene in which numerous high-profile attendees were…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lena Dunham
    3 weeks ago

    The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lena Dunham

    Lena Dunham recently released a polarizing new memoir in which…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping Out of School to Become an Influencer.
    3 weeks ago

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping Out of School to Become an Influencer.

    My Kid Just Learned Her ABCs And Now She’s Dropping…

  • chortle.blog

    chortle.blog

    3 weeks ago

    A Timeline of Notable Earth Days: 1970 to 2145

    Guest writer alert! Andrew Wood is a writer from NY…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That I’ll Make Everyone Else Look Puny by Comparison)
    3 weeks ago

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That I’ll Make Everyone Else Look Puny by Comparison)

    I Don’t Go To The Gym Because I’m Nervous (That…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Choosing A College Major For The 21st Century
    3 weeks ago

    Choosing A College Major For The 21st Century

    Let’s just say “literary criticism” is unlikely to be in…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday
    3 weeks ago

    Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday

    WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Tips For Getting Better Haircuts
    3 weeks ago

    Tips For Getting Better Haircuts

    Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge.…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’
    3 weeks ago

    Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’

    LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    Quiz: Daycare Or Coachella?
    3 weeks ago

    Quiz: Daycare Or Coachella?

    You hear the words ‘line up’ several times a day. Photo…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau
    3 weeks ago

    TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau

    TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue
    3 weeks ago

    Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue

    Post Content

Load More

TornWires

Proudly powered by WordPress